Relation-ship

sighs been a while since i posted [ok a LONG while]

lets see life has been pretty ok~~~~ [long pause]

well like half the population i caught the flu bug... i feel giddy...

life has been pretty much hectic/boring since i got home from the 5 days cruise.... was good while i lasted but then coming home sick and giddy is like <.<"

i reliased alot of stuff, like how i am really that human... too many things to think when u;r sick makes u feel so incapable...

i think i tend to over think too much... i dun know how to actually write this i guess...

in simple term i guess i shall start
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there is this guy i like [doesn;t it always start this way <.<"]

i find him rather nice and sweet and cute.... he;s nice and all those stuff but LIKE ALWAYS he;s not perfect, very human apparently...

along the lines of being not very mature and along the lines of he relies on my advise and along the lines of lack of security (if we date in the future)

i reliased maybe we are just suited to be friends...

somehow i reliased when it comes to relationships, i tend to think FAR... even thou it might be the first time we are going for a casual movie, i went and cracked my brain....

i admit i liked him [i still do] but after going thru the pro and cons i find that maybe just friends?

i know i THINK TOO MUCH, and since its based on the first outing, its not much to go by but there are apparent flaws...

he tried to fake that he was japanese [my dearest friend decided to point that out] and my answer was 'its just a phase' [the phases in life u have just to fit in?]

i amazed @ my reaction thou, i mean i make excuses for myself XD but not for others, if i was myself i would say 'that a bad thing to do' except i decided to sweep this flaw under the carpet...

its totally against what i really believe, if like making a excuse for someone murdering someone [thou not that major]

but then i reliased then that would this be the kind of 'sweep under carpet' for anything else that might crop up?

really dun think i want to go there....

and seriously speaking what i want in a relationship is SECURITY and probbly like all the other girls B4 me someone to respect, care & love me for me?

i want to be babied [ahahahaha lame huh?] i wanna be told its ok to act like a kid, and have a more RESPONSIBLE other half worrying about me [since i am highly likely to get into shit]

i really dun forsee me being the responsible one neither do i forsee me and that cute guy going out [as i would have to 'sweep it under the carpet' and being RESPONSIBLE (totally not happening)]

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spring cleaning [clear my dressing table/room] Sighs.... not looking forward to it...

i reliase my life revolves around few things... SGcafe, LJ, CNN.... i really need to go out make more friends, before i really become a hermit...

and really need to make more friends B4 i become that stuck onto one guy syndrome.... hur hur XD

oh well try to write more... still feeling giddy :P

i shall stop thinking about that cute guy but SIGHS... i reliased i want my first one to be perfect and my only one [sighs perfectionist?]

and yes i know i am THINKING TOO MUCH/TOO FAR/WTFBBQ? yeah i know when i am sick i have too much brain cells to waste...